Im at strip club and am horny
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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