By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
