took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Did I show you my penis last night?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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