I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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