Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Randomize
