I'm really into asian looking animals
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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