I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
