White coat. Heels.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
