Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
