Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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