A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
