no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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