So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
