One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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