some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
