why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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