what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
