i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize