yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
