dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
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Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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