it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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