So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
