We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
