Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You pole danced in your parka.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
