When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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