I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
