I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
