we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
