this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
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Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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