i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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