he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
