Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
