u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
