I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
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I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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