Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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