A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
