They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize