3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
