So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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