I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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