I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
