I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
