somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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