So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
