duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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