she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
