Ambien. No doubt about it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
