so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
