Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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