I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
