So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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