alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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