I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
