Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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