I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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